gosh, I hate to become a caricature of myself, but there is so much love in my life these days and I’m a fool to miss it because I’m too bogged down in my own head.
I cannot help but think of Anne Lamott:
Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over the circumstances or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.
all I’m seeking right now is authenticity in my relationships (a hard find in this city) and it’s a joy to recognize that after 3 years here, it’s all around me.
on being a work in progress in love
Here’s the thing you don’t know about me. And knowing just how much I talk, it’s probably the only thing:
I never thought I’d get this. I never thought I’d get to have the person I want also want me back. And I never imagined that the person who I love as-is would feel that for me, too. Not that I haven’t led a charmed life. I just always had relationship that never fit quite right, so I’d stuff myself into the clothes and try to do my hair just so, instead of being me and letting that be enough.
We sometimes joke that we’re already middle-aged. I can’t help but think of when we saw Steve Earle at The Birchmere. When we discovered that the venue was seated and had table service, I was delighted. You were smiling ear to ear while Mr. Earle bantered between songs and I was quietly knitting away. You put your hand on my knee and in that moment, it was sort of everything.
You’re in China for work. And since I can’t text you incessantly right now, I’ve been sleeping more. I’m not alone and the world still turns while you’re away, but I’ve noticed something. It’s not that you bring out the best in me (we both know full well that I can say the most awful and regrettable things), but maybe that you bring out the me in me.
And after what feels like too many years of searching and being a square peg in so many round holes, I finally know what enough means.
What a beautiful day for the blessing at Georgetown’s Calcagnini Contemplative Center.
A lovely way to start the afternoon. Hello, hazelnut nutella scone! (at ‘Spro Coffee of Hampden)
bought a panama hat today. i’m becoming one of those people. #gooberface
Valentine from my roomie. Man, she gets me.
this weekend had all the feelings and was impossible to keep up with, but i have a lot of love in my life right now. so many emotions. maybe things are falling in place.
Pomme de Pin cardigan, consider yourself swatched.